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п»їAlthough there is a belief that the best way to form a couple is to choose someone very different from us and that it is even common for this to occur naturally under the well-known phrase "opposites attract", reality does not seem to confirm this theory. The processes that affect our decisions The truth is that by a psychological process we tend to choose what is most similar to us. Thus, we are likely to be attracted to someone with physical characteristics similar to those we have, or to a person whose name has some of the letters that form our name. Why does this happen? Because we unconsciously look for that which is familiar to us because it gives us a feeling of greater comfort. We write our name and date of birth so many times throughout our lives that it is not uncommon for us to make our decisions based on the resemblance to our name or initials. This tendency not only applies in dating but also in all the other choices we make in life: the house and the place where we live, the job, etc. Think about it: Does the person you are with have letters in their first and last name that match yours? Do your friends have similar experiences to yours? Does the job you are in have to do with your past? It is proven that we prefer people who match our tastes, our values, who have our habits and maintain similar lifestyles. We tend to choose those who have a similar social and educational level to ours. We are inclined to choose those who share similar experiences and who have a future projection that coincides with ours. We even go further and it is not uncommon to form a couple like our parents. The need to feel identified In short, it's as if we want to go out with ourselves. Is it vanity? Is it ego? Not at all. It is simply a matter of wanting to feel identified with the one we choose as our life partner. It is much easier to share goals, carry out plans and raise children with someone who agrees with us in most respects and shares our way of thinking. Is this preference negative for us? If it turns into narcissism or an excessive taste for showing off and being admired by others, yes, it is. Similarly, if your parents live roles of violence and you emulate them, it will also be a problem and you should look for the opposite to help you have a healthy loving relationship. The absolute opposite extreme is also a problem if the decision is based on a too low self-esteem that produces insecurity and can lead to anxiety or depression. Everything in its right measure. A balanced and fair self-esteem will lead us down the path of making the best decisions for our life.
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