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(Jorge Luis Borges: biography of a scholar of letters.)
(The value of apology)
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Jorge Luis Borges: biography of a scholar of letters.
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The value of apology
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п»ї<title>Jorge Luis Borges: biography of a scholar of letters.</title>
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п»ї<title>The value of apology</title>
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[IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/borges-con-gato.jpg[/IMG]
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[IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/pareja-dandose-espalda.jpg[/IMG]
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Jorge Luis Borges was an Argentine writer, essayist and poet whose legacy is still imprinted in our literary DNA. He was a scholar of letters. He rose, in turn, as the favorite writer of scientists for his prophetic spirit. He was, above all, an artist of stories and of that magical realism that he imprinted in each of his works, such as El Aleph.
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Not a day goes by without a politician apologizing or, more profusely, apologizing to his adversaries for his own or other people's actions, grumpy customers demanding attention and compensation for having felt mistreated, patients hurt by the actions of the health personnel attending them, sportsmen publicly expressing their regret for their extra-marital affairs or employees protesting against the indelicacy of their employers. Some, on the one hand, are on the hunt for compensation, in the form, at the very least, of an apology, for the harm they have suffered, while others go through, or avoid, the ordeal of asking for forgiveness for their own flagrant error.
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The great impact that the work of this writer has had on universal culture makes him a reference in the literature of the 20th century. Thus, among his many awards are the Cervantes Prize for Literature, the Commander of Arts and Letters of France and even the Insignia of Knight of the Order of the British Empire.
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According to Aaron Lazare, author of On Apology, former chancellor of the University of Massachusetts and a leading authority on the study of apology and the processes of repentance and forgiveness, what makes an apology work is the exchange of shame and power between offender and offended. Through apology, one takes the shame of the offense and directs it toward oneself. By acknowledging the offender's shame, the offended takes the power to forgive. According to Lazare, an apology involves an exchange and is, in itself, a negotiation process where the agreement must leave both parties emotionally satisfied.
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The award that always resisted him was, curiously, the Nobel Prize for Literature. According to his closest circle, the reasons were political. Others said that his style was too cultured and at the same time too fantastic for him to be awarded this distinction.
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But, make no mistake, it is not a simple negotiation. Despite the undeniable benefits of apology, we cannot say that, generally speaking, we are experts on the subject and have the humility and courage to accept when we are wrong, acknowledge when we have caused harm and sincerely express our regret.
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Whatever the case, for this Argentine writer, not winning the Nobel Prize never worried him too much. He had his own style, always unmistakable. The short story was his favorite genre because, he said, it did not oblige the writer to use filler, as was the case, for example, with the novel.
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And yet, the apology has the power to make our relationships, whether personal or professional, more solid, restored, recovered and even stronger. A sincere apology accepted by the other party is the most palpable sign of civilized and profound interaction between human beings.
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The philosophical reflections that he gave us in each of his stories, trace a unique and exceptional universe of his own that no other author has surpassed so far.
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In the words of Beverly Engel, author of The Power of Apology, the benefits of apology are clear to both the giver and the receiver. On the one hand, the recipient of the apology feels emotionally healed when he is acknowledged by the offender, stops perceiving the offender as a threat, removes him from anger and prevents him from being trapped by the past. Apology opens the door to forgiveness by allowing empathy for the offender. On the other hand, through apology and taking responsibility for our actions we help ourselves to avoid self-reproach, with the consequent impact on self-esteem. Knowing that we have hurt someone may distance us, but once we have apologized we feel freer and closer. Since the apology makes us feel humbled, if not humiliated, it can also act as a deterrent, reminding us not to repeat the act in the future.
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"My childhood are memories of 'The Thousand and One Nights', of 'Don Quixote', of Wells' stories, of the English Bible, of Kipling, of Stevenson...".
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Going back to Lazare, there is no single reason to apologize. It can be done with the aim of saving or restoring a relationship, for a simple reason of empathy, to prove the damage caused, to avoid further punishment or to alleviate a sense of guilt. Or also because of pressure from the media, the main daily motive for politicians, companies and other actors with permanent public exposure.
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-J. L. Borges-
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Apologizing is often not easy. It is, on a large number of occasions, a difficult and costly exercise. It involves facing feelings of shame, guilt, fear and the risk of being vulnerable. Apology tends to be seen as a sign of a weak character but, in fact, it requires great strength. And it is good to learn how to reach it because, although it is not a guarantee of success, it is impossible to live in today's world without this skill. A skill that requires a process to be truly effective and that should not obviate the following steps:
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Jorge Luis Borges, a childhood in the libraryJorge Luis Borges was born in 1899 in Buenos Aires, Argentina. In his family there were two very singular spheres: the military and the literary. His grandfather, Francisco Borges Lafinur, was an Uruguayan colonel. His great-grandfather and paternal uncle were poets and composers.
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1. Acknowledging the offense
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His father, Jorge Guillermo Borges, taught psychology and had an exquisite literary taste. Moreover, as Borges himself once said, it was he who revealed to him the power of poetry and the magical symbolism of the word. Likewise, what most marked his childhood was precisely that paternal library in which Borges himself spent a large part of his childhood.
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2. Describe the damage caused
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"If I had to point out the capital fact of my life, I would say my father's library. Actually, I don't think I ever left that library. It's like I'm still looking at it...I can still vividly remember the steel engravings in Chambers's Encyclopedia and the Britannica."
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3. Accept responsibility
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He was a precocious child. He learned to read and write very early, perhaps out of a clear need to enter the literary universe he inhabited as soon as possible. However, outside the walls of that library and the family environment, his childhood was not exactly easy.
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4. Establish how the damage will be repaired
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He was that boy who had been moved up two grades, he was that fragile, stammering, know-it-all pupil that the other children martyred and ridiculed.
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For example, surely we have all observed or experienced a situation where, due to stress, fatigue or personality, the boss "reprimands" a subordinate in the presence of his colleagues. Hopefully, after minutes, hours or days, the same subordinate receives the corresponding apology in terms similar to "I realize, and I am sorry, that my words have provoked a feeling of frustration in you, I should have measured the verbal excess and not have done it in the presence of your colleagues. I will try never to do so again."
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Time of exile, time of creationWhen World War I broke out, the Borges family was in Europe. His father had just lost his sight (a disease that Jorge Luis Borges himself would later inherit) and they were in a clinic undergoing ophthalmological treatment.
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I wish it were always like that.
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The war caused them to travel continuously through Europe, until they settled for a few years in Spain. In 1919, Borges wrote two books: Los ritmos rojos and Los naipes del tahГєr. At the same time, he came into contact with writers as relevant for his later work as RamГіn GГіmez de la Serna, Valle InclГЎn and Gerardo Diego.
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An apology can also be a double-edged sword when it rings false, when it shows no real regret, or when it is self-centered. Also when it is overused, when there is no relationship between the size of the offense and the apology or when it comes too soon or too late.
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In 1924 and back in Buenos Aires, Jorge Luis Borges began to create countless magazines to give testimony of his ideas, of everything he had learned, seen and felt in Europe. His short stories, essays and poems made him one of the youngest and most promising writers in America.
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Self-centeredness is also a factor in failed or avoided apologies. The egotist is incapable of appreciating the suffering of another person; his or her regret is limited to being unappreciated by the offended person but not by the harm caused. The type of apology he usually employs takes the form of "I'm sorry you were angry with me" rather than "I'm sorry I caused you harm." The offender is simply aware but does not feel guilty, ashamed or empathetic.
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In this period, his style navigated first between an avant-garde and cosmopolitan air that later derived in a more metaphysical style. Little by little, he polished his fascination with time, space, infinity, life and death, making him a scholar in these matters. Where the real combines with the fictitious. There where the strange invites the reader to delve into philosophical questions.
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And a good apology also has to make you suffer, as studied by Lazare. If there is no genuine regret it will not be taken as sincere.  
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Blindness, a time of darkness and the passage to another awakeningThe arrival of PerГіn to power in 1946 was not good news for Jorge Luis Borges. That fame, as an anti-Peronist and follower of a more conservative political line, was something that always accompanied him. In the 1950s, the Argentine Society of Writers appointed him president, but he himself resigned a few years later.
 
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His literary career marked all his obligations. A large part of his works were already being published in Paris, La muerte y la brГєjula, as well as essays such as Otras inquisiciones were reaching the Argentine public with great success. His key work, The Aleph, was in its second edition and films were even being made based on some of his stories, such as Days of Hate.
 
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However, in the 1950s, what he defined as the real contradiction of his destiny occurred. The Peronist government had been overthrown after a military coup and Borges was appointed director of the National Library. Just at that time, the illness inherited from his father was already making its presence felt: he was going blind. He could neither read nor write.
 
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"Let no one lower to tears or reproach
 
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this declaration of God's mastery
 
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of God, who with magnificent irony
 
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gave me both books and the night."
 
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-Jorge Luis Borges
 
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A life in the dark full of successesBlindness did not deprive him of continuing to work. His family, especially his mother, later his wife, Elsa Astete MillГЎn, and then his last partner, the Argentine writer MarГ­a Kodama, were key to his literary work and his reading. He continued to publish works such as Manual de zoologГ­a fantГЎstica or El hacedor, books of poems such as El oro de los tigres and even collaborated for two years with Harvard University.
 
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His artistic life was intense, rich and very productive regardless of that world of darkness that covered his eyes. Moreover, he asked for his retirement as director of the national library of Buenos Aires in 1973. He had dedicated almost 20 years of his life to that work.
 
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Jorge Luis Borges died in 1986 of pancreatic cancer in Geneva. He is buried in a cemetery in Switzerland, in a tombstone with a white cross on which appears the following inscription "And ne forhtedon na" (and they did not fear) in a white cross. (and let them not fear) in reference to a 13th century Norwegian play, which appeared in one of his short stories: Ulrica.
 
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Revision as of 09:24, 28 January 2022

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п»ї<title>The value of apology</title> [IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/pareja-dandose-espalda.jpg[/IMG] Not a day goes by without a politician apologizing or, more profusely, apologizing to his adversaries for his own or other people's actions, grumpy customers demanding attention and compensation for having felt mistreated, patients hurt by the actions of the health personnel attending them, sportsmen publicly expressing their regret for their extra-marital affairs or employees protesting against the indelicacy of their employers. Some, on the one hand, are on the hunt for compensation, in the form, at the very least, of an apology, for the harm they have suffered, while others go through, or avoid, the ordeal of asking for forgiveness for their own flagrant error. According to Aaron Lazare, author of On Apology, former chancellor of the University of Massachusetts and a leading authority on the study of apology and the processes of repentance and forgiveness, what makes an apology work is the exchange of shame and power between offender and offended. Through apology, one takes the shame of the offense and directs it toward oneself. By acknowledging the offender's shame, the offended takes the power to forgive. According to Lazare, an apology involves an exchange and is, in itself, a negotiation process where the agreement must leave both parties emotionally satisfied. But, make no mistake, it is not a simple negotiation. Despite the undeniable benefits of apology, we cannot say that, generally speaking, we are experts on the subject and have the humility and courage to accept when we are wrong, acknowledge when we have caused harm and sincerely express our regret. And yet, the apology has the power to make our relationships, whether personal or professional, more solid, restored, recovered and even stronger. A sincere apology accepted by the other party is the most palpable sign of civilized and profound interaction between human beings. In the words of Beverly Engel, author of The Power of Apology, the benefits of apology are clear to both the giver and the receiver. On the one hand, the recipient of the apology feels emotionally healed when he is acknowledged by the offender, stops perceiving the offender as a threat, removes him from anger and prevents him from being trapped by the past. Apology opens the door to forgiveness by allowing empathy for the offender. On the other hand, through apology and taking responsibility for our actions we help ourselves to avoid self-reproach, with the consequent impact on self-esteem. Knowing that we have hurt someone may distance us, but once we have apologized we feel freer and closer. Since the apology makes us feel humbled, if not humiliated, it can also act as a deterrent, reminding us not to repeat the act in the future. Going back to Lazare, there is no single reason to apologize. It can be done with the aim of saving or restoring a relationship, for a simple reason of empathy, to prove the damage caused, to avoid further punishment or to alleviate a sense of guilt. Or also because of pressure from the media, the main daily motive for politicians, companies and other actors with permanent public exposure. Apologizing is often not easy. It is, on a large number of occasions, a difficult and costly exercise. It involves facing feelings of shame, guilt, fear and the risk of being vulnerable. Apology tends to be seen as a sign of a weak character but, in fact, it requires great strength. And it is good to learn how to reach it because, although it is not a guarantee of success, it is impossible to live in today's world without this skill. A skill that requires a process to be truly effective and that should not obviate the following steps: 1. Acknowledging the offense 2. Describe the damage caused 3. Accept responsibility 4. Establish how the damage will be repaired For example, surely we have all observed or experienced a situation where, due to stress, fatigue or personality, the boss "reprimands" a subordinate in the presence of his colleagues. Hopefully, after minutes, hours or days, the same subordinate receives the corresponding apology in terms similar to "I realize, and I am sorry, that my words have provoked a feeling of frustration in you, I should have measured the verbal excess and not have done it in the presence of your colleagues. I will try never to do so again." I wish it were always like that. An apology can also be a double-edged sword when it rings false, when it shows no real regret, or when it is self-centered. Also when it is overused, when there is no relationship between the size of the offense and the apology or when it comes too soon or too late. Self-centeredness is also a factor in failed or avoided apologies. The egotist is incapable of appreciating the suffering of another person; his or her regret is limited to being unappreciated by the offended person but not by the harm caused. The type of apology he usually employs takes the form of "I'm sorry you were angry with me" rather than "I'm sorry I caused you harm." The offender is simply aware but does not feel guilty, ashamed or empathetic. And a good apology also has to make you suffer, as studied by Lazare. If there is no genuine regret it will not be taken as sincere. https://www.rxshopmd.com/products/antinarcoleptic/buy-armodafinil-artvigil/ [url=https://baltimoretown.org/phpbb5/viewtopic.php?f=33&t=24775]Spotlight: the value of journalism[/url] [url=http://www.onlineschool.ipt.pw/user/Vivianchusa/history/]What's behind the crisis of the thirties?[/url] [url=http://asphn.free.fr/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=3960]Elliot Aronson, biography of a brilliant social psychologist.[/url] 

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