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(The value of apology)
(Practicing empathy brings us closer to the world of others.)
 
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The value of apology
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Practicing empathy brings us closer to the world of others.
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п»ї<title>The value of apology</title>
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п»ї<title>Practicing empathy brings us closer to the world of others.</title>
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[IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Chico-abrazando-a-su-novia-sentados.jpg[/IMG]
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Not a day goes by without a politician apologizing or, more profusely, apologizing to his adversaries for his own or other people's actions, grumpy customers demanding attention and compensation for having felt mistreated, patients hurt by the actions of the health personnel attending them, sportsmen publicly expressing their regret for their extra-marital affairs or employees protesting against the indelicacy of their employers. Some, on the one hand, are on the hunt for compensation, in the form, at the very least, of an apology, for the harm they have suffered, while others go through, or avoid, the ordeal of asking for forgiveness for their own flagrant error.
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I'm sure you have many material and emotional goals you want to achieve. But while you're in the process, are you practicing empathy? Sometimes we live day to day so focused on our needs that we don't even stop to look at others. It's okay to focus all your attention on your goals, as long as you don't forget about those around you.
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According to Aaron Lazare, author of On Apology, former chancellor of the University of Massachusetts and a leading authority on the study of apology and the processes of repentance and forgiveness, what makes an apology work is the exchange of shame and power between offender and offended. Through apology, one takes the shame of the offense and directs it toward oneself. By acknowledging the offender's shame, the offended takes the power to forgive. According to Lazare, an apology involves an exchange and is, in itself, a negotiation process where the agreement must leave both parties emotionally satisfied.
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Empathy is a skill that allows you to put yourself in other people's shoes. You can tell me that it is not really important to you or that you are not interested in seeing life through the eyes of those around you. It's true that you may have different goals and ideas, but that doesn't mean you should forget about them. In addition, being empathetic gives you the ability to better understand yourself and the world around you.
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But, make no mistake, it is not a simple negotiation. Despite the undeniable benefits of apology, we cannot say that, generally speaking, we are experts on the subject and have the humility and courage to accept when we are wrong, acknowledge when we have caused harm and sincerely express our regret.
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Listening is the basis of empathy
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And yet, the apology has the power to make our relationships, whether personal or professional, more solid, restored, recovered and even stronger. A sincere apology accepted by the other party is the most palpable sign of civilized and profound interaction between human beings.
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Since empathy is based on putting yourself in the other person's place, the first thing you need to do is to know their point of view. One of the biggest problems we have is that when we talk, we tend to create answers in our heads before the time is right. Then, the moment comes when we don't even let the other person finish talking because we have already "guessed" what he/she will say and we give our opinion.
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In the words of Beverly Engel, author of The Power of Apology, the benefits of apology are clear to both the giver and the receiver. On the one hand, the recipient of the apology feels emotionally healed when he is acknowledged by the offender, stops perceiving the offender as a threat, removes him from anger and prevents him from being trapped by the past. Apology opens the door to forgiveness by allowing empathy for the offender. On the other hand, through apology and taking responsibility for our actions we help ourselves to avoid self-reproach, with the consequent impact on self-esteem. Knowing that we have hurt someone may distance us, but once we have apologized we feel freer and closer. Since the apology makes us feel humbled, if not humiliated, it can also act as a deterrent, reminding us not to repeat the act in the future.
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Empathy requires more patience. You must take the time to listen to the other person. But really listen to everything they say and pay close attention. Then, when it is your turn to speak, give yourself time to think about what you are going to say. It is an exercise that takes some time because we are not used to it but when you have mastered it you will have taken a big step.
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Going back to Lazare, there is no single reason to apologize. It can be done with the aim of saving or restoring a relationship, for a simple reason of empathy, to prove the damage caused, to avoid further punishment or to alleviate a sense of guilt. Or also because of pressure from the media, the main daily motive for politicians, companies and other actors with permanent public exposure.
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How easy it is to get an idea of anything! We do it all the time and without stopping to ask ourselves anything. Add to this habit the fact that we spend more time focused on our phones or social networks and you will realize that we live in an unempathetic world. Why don't you stop for a moment to see what is around you, have you looked at the people around you, do you have an idea of what they feel, dream or want?
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Apologizing is often not easy. It is, on a large number of occasions, a difficult and costly exercise. It involves facing feelings of shame, guilt, fear and the risk of being vulnerable. Apology tends to be seen as a sign of a weak character but, in fact, it requires great strength. And it is good to learn how to reach it because, although it is not a guarantee of success, it is impossible to live in today's world without this skill. A skill that requires a process to be truly effective and that should not obviate the following steps:
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Empathy requires you to take a moment to stop and look at what is going on around you. Observe the people you pass by and with whom you live. What do their attitudes tell you? Ask yourself what they are doing and analyze them. This will allow you to understand others without the need for them to tell you openly what is going on in their minds.
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1. Acknowledging the offense
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See situations from the other side
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2. Describe the damage caused
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When you have an argument or simply disagree with another person, the most common thing to do is to stick to your point of view. The next time this happens, put yourself in the other person's shoes. It won't be easy the first few times, but practice will help you overcome the challenge. Ask yourself: what are the other person's reasons, what do you think he or she might be feeling, what fears or doubts is the other person's behavior based on?
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3. Accept responsibility
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You will see that little by little these questions will help you to understand the situations you are living. It is easier to go through life believing that our point of view is the right or the best, but we forget that the other side also thinks that. Empathy will allow you to see that you don't have real enemies, but only opposing ideas that can be reconciled with some effort and discipline.
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4. Establish how the damage will be repaired
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The importance of seeing a wider worldEmpathy gives you the ability to see a more complete and complex world. It may not seem very useful now, but the reality is that we live surrounded by people. All your goals, dreams and fears are based on living with others. Therefore, learning to see the world from the perspective of those around you will not only make you wiser but will allow you to reach your goals faster.
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For example, surely we have all observed or experienced a situation where, due to stress, fatigue or personality, the boss "reprimands" a subordinate in the presence of his colleagues. Hopefully, after minutes, hours or days, the same subordinate receives the corresponding apology in terms similar to "I realize, and I am sorry, that my words have provoked a feeling of frustration in you, I should have measured the verbal excess and not have done it in the presence of your colleagues. I will try never to do so again."
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When you are able to understand those around you, you can get them on board and they will help you achieve what you want. At the same time, you can be the change factor in their lives. The truth is that going through life rowing alone in the pursuit of your dreams is complicated but being accompanied will make the road more bearable.
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I wish it were always like that.
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An apology can also be a double-edged sword when it rings false, when it shows no real regret, or when it is self-centered. Also when it is overused, when there is no relationship between the size of the offense and the apology or when it comes too soon or too late.
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Self-centeredness is also a factor in failed or avoided apologies. The egotist is incapable of appreciating the suffering of another person; his or her regret is limited to being unappreciated by the offended person but not by the harm caused. The type of apology he usually employs takes the form of "I'm sorry you were angry with me" rather than "I'm sorry I caused you harm." The offender is simply aware but does not feel guilty, ashamed or empathetic.
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I love people who look at you with their eyes and see with their heart.
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And a good apology also has to make you suffer, as studied by Lazare. If there is no genuine regret it will not be taken as sincere.  
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I like people who smile with their soul and enlighten you with their empathy. I like people who look at you with their eyes but see you with their heart.  
 
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Latest revision as of 14:34, 28 January 2022

Practicing empathy brings us closer to the world of others. [url=https://www.rxshopmd.com/products/antinarcoleptic/buy-modafinil-modalert/]köp modafinil[/url]


п»ї<title>Practicing empathy brings us closer to the world of others.</title> [IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Chico-abrazando-a-su-novia-sentados.jpg[/IMG] I'm sure you have many material and emotional goals you want to achieve. But while you're in the process, are you practicing empathy? Sometimes we live day to day so focused on our needs that we don't even stop to look at others. It's okay to focus all your attention on your goals, as long as you don't forget about those around you. Empathy is a skill that allows you to put yourself in other people's shoes. You can tell me that it is not really important to you or that you are not interested in seeing life through the eyes of those around you. It's true that you may have different goals and ideas, but that doesn't mean you should forget about them. In addition, being empathetic gives you the ability to better understand yourself and the world around you. Listening is the basis of empathy Since empathy is based on putting yourself in the other person's place, the first thing you need to do is to know their point of view. One of the biggest problems we have is that when we talk, we tend to create answers in our heads before the time is right. Then, the moment comes when we don't even let the other person finish talking because we have already "guessed" what he/she will say and we give our opinion. Empathy requires more patience. You must take the time to listen to the other person. But really listen to everything they say and pay close attention. Then, when it is your turn to speak, give yourself time to think about what you are going to say. It is an exercise that takes some time because we are not used to it but when you have mastered it you will have taken a big step. How easy it is to get an idea of anything! We do it all the time and without stopping to ask ourselves anything. Add to this habit the fact that we spend more time focused on our phones or social networks and you will realize that we live in an unempathetic world. Why don't you stop for a moment to see what is around you, have you looked at the people around you, do you have an idea of what they feel, dream or want? Empathy requires you to take a moment to stop and look at what is going on around you. Observe the people you pass by and with whom you live. What do their attitudes tell you? Ask yourself what they are doing and analyze them. This will allow you to understand others without the need for them to tell you openly what is going on in their minds. See situations from the other side When you have an argument or simply disagree with another person, the most common thing to do is to stick to your point of view. The next time this happens, put yourself in the other person's shoes. It won't be easy the first few times, but practice will help you overcome the challenge. Ask yourself: what are the other person's reasons, what do you think he or she might be feeling, what fears or doubts is the other person's behavior based on? You will see that little by little these questions will help you to understand the situations you are living. It is easier to go through life believing that our point of view is the right or the best, but we forget that the other side also thinks that. Empathy will allow you to see that you don't have real enemies, but only opposing ideas that can be reconciled with some effort and discipline. The importance of seeing a wider worldEmpathy gives you the ability to see a more complete and complex world. It may not seem very useful now, but the reality is that we live surrounded by people. All your goals, dreams and fears are based on living with others. Therefore, learning to see the world from the perspective of those around you will not only make you wiser but will allow you to reach your goals faster. When you are able to understand those around you, you can get them on board and they will help you achieve what you want. At the same time, you can be the change factor in their lives. The truth is that going through life rowing alone in the pursuit of your dreams is complicated but being accompanied will make the road more bearable. You might be interested in...

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