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Talk:1 - Trgovanje Na Forexu Forum Data Sydney 2022 Togelers

2022-01-30T13:45:55Z

VivianSen: Snobbish self-executioners

Snobbish self-executioners
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п»ї<title>Love is the best medicine for wounded hearts.</title>
[IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/chico-abrazando-a-su-amiga-llorando.jpg[/IMG].
Love is the deepest, most intense and expansive feeling we can experience in our daily lives. It moves millions of people in all parts of the world. It helps us heal our emotional wounds and put ourselves back together after we have been hurt and our wounded hearts have been touched.
It does not necessarily have to be love as a couple, but love in all its manifestations: self-love, parental love, love as a friend, etc. Feeling recognized and accepted by others helps us to rebuild our hearts and feel accompanied after being hurt.
"We are born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through love and friendship can we create the momentary illusion that we are not alone."
-Orson Welles
A strong self-esteem can help us recover more easily when we are hurt and our heart is damaged. Self-love is good medicine for those times when we see obstacles in our path and heal our wounded hearts. Taking care of ourselves instead of torturing ourselves is a good recipe to be better when we feel betrayed by others.
What is love and what is it for? When we talk about love, we are not only talking about romantic love, but love as a whole. Love invites us to socialize and broadens our ability to relate to others. It usually produces a pleasurable feeling of well-being towards others. It is a powerful feeling that helps us make deep connections with the people we cherish.
"One of the purposes of human life, no matter who controls it, is to love whoever is around to be loved."
-Kurt Vonnegut
It allows us to develop empathy, tolerance and compassion in its pure state. It is an emotion that makes us feel so comfortable that it resembles a drug, because when it is over, we usually want more. Love, according to neuroscience, is a psychophysiological reaction that our body produces by secreting neurotransmitters in the brain such as oxytocin, vasopressin or dopamine.
These hormones help us to develop feelings of pleasure, euphoria, satisfaction and fullness. At the brain level, specific areas are activated that help us to bond, promoting social and emotional behaviors with the people around us.
We have all had our hearts broken at one time or another. It can be, from a partner who hurts us, to a soulmate who disappoints us. The emotion is one of sadness, as if we are empty, feeling our heart shattered into a thousand pieces and with it the backbone of our emotional balance.
Imagine that your best friend stops calling you because he has met someone and no longer has time to meet up with you. How will you feel? Probably betrayed and hurt, without understanding the reason for your reaction. Despite the pain that heartbreak causes us, we are capable of rebuilding our hearts, just like the phoenix that rises from the ashes.
"To love is not only to want, it is above all to understand."
-FranГ§oise Sagan
Our heart is capable of emerging stronger from adversity. This characteristic is called resilience, the ability we have to adapt positively to the difficult circumstances we encounter. It doesn't matter if life hits us hard, we can also learn from the painful. It's just a matter of looking at our story from a different perspective.
Self-love is the thread that sews up the woundSelf-love is the foundation on which we begin to recover after a relationship that is important to us is broken. In this sense, the ability to accept ourselves with our faults and our virtues allows us to be more loving and compassionate, both with ourselves and with others.
For example, imagine that you accept yourself as you are, you feel comfortable with your physical appearance and with your inner self. In this way, it will be easier for you to cope with a breakup. That doesn't take away the pain of loss, which we all experience when there is a person or situation that is gone. But at least you will have more strength to rebuild your wounded heart once you have gone through the mourning.
Saying goodbye to what is no longer in our lives is often difficult because we feel so much sadness and pain. These emotions can give us the mistaken impression that our hearts will be broken forever. However, if we dare to give way to this pain, scars will remain, but our wounded hearts will heal.
Only courageous people ask for helpDon't feel inferior if you need someone to lend you a hand, because it is the most normal thing in the world. When we are in a grieving process, it is likely that we need to lean on those we trust the most. Talk to the people around you and let them support you. The people who love you can help you put your story back together so that you can close the chapter and open another one.
You become stronger when you don't carry your pain alone and can share it with those you trust. Expressing your hurts makes your heart fill with scars of pride, the ones that say: -I have been through this difficult situation and I have managed to overcome it. Sometimes it is possible that, if you find it hard to get to this point, you may need the help of a psychologist to get a new perspective on your life.
Ultimately, heartbreak and broken hearts heal with self-love and by surrounding yourself with the people you care about. Your heart will eventually rebuild itself, becoming stronger. Accept your pain so that the sadness can turn into illusion again. You will need time and with that time you will also have to give yourself and others a new chance.
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User:VivianSen

2022-01-28T14:34:08Z

VivianSen: Practicing empathy brings us closer to the world of others.

Practicing empathy brings us closer to the world of others.
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п»ї<title>Practicing empathy brings us closer to the world of others.</title>
[IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Chico-abrazando-a-su-novia-sentados.jpg[/IMG]
I'm sure you have many material and emotional goals you want to achieve. But while you're in the process, are you practicing empathy? Sometimes we live day to day so focused on our needs that we don't even stop to look at others. It's okay to focus all your attention on your goals, as long as you don't forget about those around you.
Empathy is a skill that allows you to put yourself in other people's shoes. You can tell me that it is not really important to you or that you are not interested in seeing life through the eyes of those around you. It's true that you may have different goals and ideas, but that doesn't mean you should forget about them. In addition, being empathetic gives you the ability to better understand yourself and the world around you.
Listening is the basis of empathy
Since empathy is based on putting yourself in the other person's place, the first thing you need to do is to know their point of view. One of the biggest problems we have is that when we talk, we tend to create answers in our heads before the time is right. Then, the moment comes when we don't even let the other person finish talking because we have already "guessed" what he/she will say and we give our opinion.
Empathy requires more patience. You must take the time to listen to the other person. But really listen to everything they say and pay close attention. Then, when it is your turn to speak, give yourself time to think about what you are going to say. It is an exercise that takes some time because we are not used to it but when you have mastered it you will have taken a big step.
How easy it is to get an idea of anything! We do it all the time and without stopping to ask ourselves anything. Add to this habit the fact that we spend more time focused on our phones or social networks and you will realize that we live in an unempathetic world. Why don't you stop for a moment to see what is around you, have you looked at the people around you, do you have an idea of what they feel, dream or want?
Empathy requires you to take a moment to stop and look at what is going on around you. Observe the people you pass by and with whom you live. What do their attitudes tell you? Ask yourself what they are doing and analyze them. This will allow you to understand others without the need for them to tell you openly what is going on in their minds.
See situations from the other side
When you have an argument or simply disagree with another person, the most common thing to do is to stick to your point of view. The next time this happens, put yourself in the other person's shoes. It won't be easy the first few times, but practice will help you overcome the challenge. Ask yourself: what are the other person's reasons, what do you think he or she might be feeling, what fears or doubts is the other person's behavior based on?
You will see that little by little these questions will help you to understand the situations you are living. It is easier to go through life believing that our point of view is the right or the best, but we forget that the other side also thinks that. Empathy will allow you to see that you don't have real enemies, but only opposing ideas that can be reconciled with some effort and discipline.
The importance of seeing a wider worldEmpathy gives you the ability to see a more complete and complex world. It may not seem very useful now, but the reality is that we live surrounded by people. All your goals, dreams and fears are based on living with others. Therefore, learning to see the world from the perspective of those around you will not only make you wiser but will allow you to reach your goals faster.
When you are able to understand those around you, you can get them on board and they will help you achieve what you want. At the same time, you can be the change factor in their lives. The truth is that going through life rowing alone in the pursuit of your dreams is complicated but being accompanied will make the road more bearable.
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User:VivianSen

2022-01-28T09:24:28Z

VivianSen: The value of apology

The value of apology
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п»ї<title>The value of apology</title>
[IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/pareja-dandose-espalda.jpg[/IMG]
Not a day goes by without a politician apologizing or, more profusely, apologizing to his adversaries for his own or other people's actions, grumpy customers demanding attention and compensation for having felt mistreated, patients hurt by the actions of the health personnel attending them, sportsmen publicly expressing their regret for their extra-marital affairs or employees protesting against the indelicacy of their employers. Some, on the one hand, are on the hunt for compensation, in the form, at the very least, of an apology, for the harm they have suffered, while others go through, or avoid, the ordeal of asking for forgiveness for their own flagrant error.
According to Aaron Lazare, author of On Apology, former chancellor of the University of Massachusetts and a leading authority on the study of apology and the processes of repentance and forgiveness, what makes an apology work is the exchange of shame and power between offender and offended. Through apology, one takes the shame of the offense and directs it toward oneself. By acknowledging the offender's shame, the offended takes the power to forgive. According to Lazare, an apology involves an exchange and is, in itself, a negotiation process where the agreement must leave both parties emotionally satisfied.
But, make no mistake, it is not a simple negotiation. Despite the undeniable benefits of apology, we cannot say that, generally speaking, we are experts on the subject and have the humility and courage to accept when we are wrong, acknowledge when we have caused harm and sincerely express our regret.
And yet, the apology has the power to make our relationships, whether personal or professional, more solid, restored, recovered and even stronger. A sincere apology accepted by the other party is the most palpable sign of civilized and profound interaction between human beings.
In the words of Beverly Engel, author of The Power of Apology, the benefits of apology are clear to both the giver and the receiver. On the one hand, the recipient of the apology feels emotionally healed when he is acknowledged by the offender, stops perceiving the offender as a threat, removes him from anger and prevents him from being trapped by the past. Apology opens the door to forgiveness by allowing empathy for the offender. On the other hand, through apology and taking responsibility for our actions we help ourselves to avoid self-reproach, with the consequent impact on self-esteem. Knowing that we have hurt someone may distance us, but once we have apologized we feel freer and closer. Since the apology makes us feel humbled, if not humiliated, it can also act as a deterrent, reminding us not to repeat the act in the future.
Going back to Lazare, there is no single reason to apologize. It can be done with the aim of saving or restoring a relationship, for a simple reason of empathy, to prove the damage caused, to avoid further punishment or to alleviate a sense of guilt. Or also because of pressure from the media, the main daily motive for politicians, companies and other actors with permanent public exposure.
Apologizing is often not easy. It is, on a large number of occasions, a difficult and costly exercise. It involves facing feelings of shame, guilt, fear and the risk of being vulnerable. Apology tends to be seen as a sign of a weak character but, in fact, it requires great strength. And it is good to learn how to reach it because, although it is not a guarantee of success, it is impossible to live in today's world without this skill. A skill that requires a process to be truly effective and that should not obviate the following steps:
1. Acknowledging the offense
2. Describe the damage caused
3. Accept responsibility
4. Establish how the damage will be repaired
For example, surely we have all observed or experienced a situation where, due to stress, fatigue or personality, the boss "reprimands" a subordinate in the presence of his colleagues. Hopefully, after minutes, hours or days, the same subordinate receives the corresponding apology in terms similar to "I realize, and I am sorry, that my words have provoked a feeling of frustration in you, I should have measured the verbal excess and not have done it in the presence of your colleagues. I will try never to do so again."
I wish it were always like that.
An apology can also be a double-edged sword when it rings false, when it shows no real regret, or when it is self-centered. Also when it is overused, when there is no relationship between the size of the offense and the apology or when it comes too soon or too late.
Self-centeredness is also a factor in failed or avoided apologies. The egotist is incapable of appreciating the suffering of another person; his or her regret is limited to being unappreciated by the offended person but not by the harm caused. The type of apology he usually employs takes the form of "I'm sorry you were angry with me" rather than "I'm sorry I caused you harm." The offender is simply aware but does not feel guilty, ashamed or empathetic.
And a good apology also has to make you suffer, as studied by Lazare. If there is no genuine regret it will not be taken as sincere.
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User:VivianSen

2022-01-28T00:38:19Z

VivianSen: Jorge Luis Borges: biography of a scholar of letters.

Jorge Luis Borges: biography of a scholar of letters.
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п»ї<title>Jorge Luis Borges: biography of a scholar of letters.</title>
[IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/borges-con-gato.jpg[/IMG]
Jorge Luis Borges was an Argentine writer, essayist and poet whose legacy is still imprinted in our literary DNA. He was a scholar of letters. He rose, in turn, as the favorite writer of scientists for his prophetic spirit. He was, above all, an artist of stories and of that magical realism that he imprinted in each of his works, such as El Aleph.
The great impact that the work of this writer has had on universal culture makes him a reference in the literature of the 20th century. Thus, among his many awards are the Cervantes Prize for Literature, the Commander of Arts and Letters of France and even the Insignia of Knight of the Order of the British Empire.
The award that always resisted him was, curiously, the Nobel Prize for Literature. According to his closest circle, the reasons were political. Others said that his style was too cultured and at the same time too fantastic for him to be awarded this distinction.
Whatever the case, for this Argentine writer, not winning the Nobel Prize never worried him too much. He had his own style, always unmistakable. The short story was his favorite genre because, he said, it did not oblige the writer to use filler, as was the case, for example, with the novel.
The philosophical reflections that he gave us in each of his stories, trace a unique and exceptional universe of his own that no other author has surpassed so far.
"My childhood are memories of 'The Thousand and One Nights', of 'Don Quixote', of Wells' stories, of the English Bible, of Kipling, of Stevenson...".
-J. L. Borges-
Jorge Luis Borges, a childhood in the libraryJorge Luis Borges was born in 1899 in Buenos Aires, Argentina. In his family there were two very singular spheres: the military and the literary. His grandfather, Francisco Borges Lafinur, was an Uruguayan colonel. His great-grandfather and paternal uncle were poets and composers.
His father, Jorge Guillermo Borges, taught psychology and had an exquisite literary taste. Moreover, as Borges himself once said, it was he who revealed to him the power of poetry and the magical symbolism of the word. Likewise, what most marked his childhood was precisely that paternal library in which Borges himself spent a large part of his childhood.
"If I had to point out the capital fact of my life, I would say my father's library. Actually, I don't think I ever left that library. It's like I'm still looking at it...I can still vividly remember the steel engravings in Chambers's Encyclopedia and the Britannica."
He was a precocious child. He learned to read and write very early, perhaps out of a clear need to enter the literary universe he inhabited as soon as possible. However, outside the walls of that library and the family environment, his childhood was not exactly easy.
He was that boy who had been moved up two grades, he was that fragile, stammering, know-it-all pupil that the other children martyred and ridiculed.
Time of exile, time of creationWhen World War I broke out, the Borges family was in Europe. His father had just lost his sight (a disease that Jorge Luis Borges himself would later inherit) and they were in a clinic undergoing ophthalmological treatment.
The war caused them to travel continuously through Europe, until they settled for a few years in Spain. In 1919, Borges wrote two books: Los ritmos rojos and Los naipes del tahГєr. At the same time, he came into contact with writers as relevant for his later work as RamГіn GГіmez de la Serna, Valle InclГЎn and Gerardo Diego.
In 1924 and back in Buenos Aires, Jorge Luis Borges began to create countless magazines to give testimony of his ideas, of everything he had learned, seen and felt in Europe. His short stories, essays and poems made him one of the youngest and most promising writers in America.
In this period, his style navigated first between an avant-garde and cosmopolitan air that later derived in a more metaphysical style. Little by little, he polished his fascination with time, space, infinity, life and death, making him a scholar in these matters. Where the real combines with the fictitious. There where the strange invites the reader to delve into philosophical questions.
Blindness, a time of darkness and the passage to another awakeningThe arrival of PerГіn to power in 1946 was not good news for Jorge Luis Borges. That fame, as an anti-Peronist and follower of a more conservative political line, was something that always accompanied him. In the 1950s, the Argentine Society of Writers appointed him president, but he himself resigned a few years later.
His literary career marked all his obligations. A large part of his works were already being published in Paris, La muerte y la brГєjula, as well as essays such as Otras inquisiciones were reaching the Argentine public with great success. His key work, The Aleph, was in its second edition and films were even being made based on some of his stories, such as Days of Hate.
However, in the 1950s, what he defined as the real contradiction of his destiny occurred. The Peronist government had been overthrown after a military coup and Borges was appointed director of the National Library. Just at that time, the illness inherited from his father was already making its presence felt: he was going blind. He could neither read nor write.
"Let no one lower to tears or reproach
this declaration of God's mastery
of God, who with magnificent irony
gave me both books and the night."
-Jorge Luis Borges
A life in the dark full of successesBlindness did not deprive him of continuing to work. His family, especially his mother, later his wife, Elsa Astete MillГЎn, and then his last partner, the Argentine writer MarГa Kodama, were key to his literary work and his reading. He continued to publish works such as Manual de zoologГa fantГЎstica or El hacedor, books of poems such as El oro de los tigres and even collaborated for two years with Harvard University.
His artistic life was intense, rich and very productive regardless of that world of darkness that covered his eyes. Moreover, he asked for his retirement as director of the national library of Buenos Aires in 1973. He had dedicated almost 20 years of his life to that work.
Jorge Luis Borges died in 1986 of pancreatic cancer in Geneva. He is buried in a cemetery in Switzerland, in a tombstone with a white cross on which appears the following inscription "And ne forhtedon na" (and they did not fear) in a white cross. (and let them not fear) in reference to a 13th century Norwegian play, which appeared in one of his short stories: Ulrica.
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User:VivianSen

2022-01-27T13:58:32Z

VivianSen: The 8 worldly dharmas: the art of detachment and impermanence

The 8 worldly dharmas: the art of detachment and impermanence
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п»ї<title>The 8 worldly dharmas: the art of detachment and impermanence</title>
[IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/imagen-budista.png[/IMG]
The 8 worldly dharmas refer to those blockages, worries or attachments that cloud our awareness and ability to be happy. Thus, Buddhism as well as psychology itself reminds us that living attached to certain dimensions, such as pride, material goods or the desire for profit, pushes us to an existence of lack and suffering.
It is often said that Buddhism is a house full of beautiful treasures. However, from our markedly Western point of view, it is common that sometimes we do not know how to distinguish or appreciate the beauty of these riches that are agglutinated in this philosophical and spiritual framework.
The principles of Buddhism and the practice of the Dharma are not easy to carry out, and the reason for this is in our mentality, in the type of culture in which we live daily and that somehow ends up molding us.
"Dharma is the discipline of living the truth; it is not knowing or reading the truth, it is not commenting on it or discussing it, it is not its logic, it is not its reasoning."
-Yogi Bhajan
Hence, there are many experts in these currents that recommend us a simple advice. It does not matter if we know nothing about the subject of the chakras, about meditation or the supposed vital energy contained in kundalini yoga. Those practices that many handle almost without knowing have no relevance if we do not first know the 8 worldly dharmas.
Because immersing ourselves, delimiting and working on this set of common concerns, is undoubtedly the first step to our spiritual awakening. It is the threshold of Buddhism, it is to be able to let go of our obsessive thoughts and social desires to leave behind our eternal fear of loss. Our fixation on profit, on the meaningless attachment...
The 8 worldly dharmasThe 8 worldly dharmas speak to us above all of two concepts: detachment and lack of permanence. These ideas, these concepts, are undoubtedly our real nemesis, this shadow that haunts us and that we never end up seeing or recognizing. Thus, within our mentality and behavior, there are many of us who orient our existence in relation to certain dimensions, needs, people and materials that we consider essential to feel good.
We live attached to all these dimensions without understanding, without intuiting that nothing in this world can be retained forever. In our daily life, we live with certainties, attachments and expectations because they give us a sense of control. And if there is one thing we like, it is to have everything under control. However, there is nothing so volatile, capricious and immanent as life itself.
Hence, any change destabilizes us. Every variation, failed expectation or unfulfilled goal leads to suffering and stress. For the Dharma, as long as our mind remains contaminated by these eight worldly principles we will never be free or noble. So, let us see what dimensions this framework of Buddhism refers to.
First pair: attachment to material possessions/ aversion to not receiving them or being separated from themThe 8 worldly dharmas are established in 4 pairs of attachment and aversion. Thus, the first of these refers to something that will be very familiar to us. We speak, of course, of our need to possess and the fear that comes from thinking about the distance or the damage to what we understand as ours. A thousand examples illustrate this: our attachment to technology, to certain brands of clothes, shoes, our cars, etc.
It is clear that many of these things we consider essential for our daily lives: they serve us to work and to give a certain image. However, the problem lies in experiencing a clear suffering when we do not have access to these objects, when we lack them and perceive our absolute dependence on them. This is undoubtedly a very relevant worldly dharma to work on.
Second pair: attachment to recognition, approval and fame/ aversion to censure or disapprovalWe all, in some way, need to feel validated, recognized and approved by those around us. We are social beings and these security ties allow us to function with greater ease. However, the problem, as always, comes when that need becomes a priority and constant. When we are unable to live without that external reinforcement, without that praise, without that permission, without that like in our photos, without that approval from our families, partners or coworkers.
Not knowing or not being able to live without those reinforcements or experiencing blocks or anxiety when we are censured or disapproved is another absolute source of suffering. Another of the pillars of the 8 worldly dharmas that we are obliged to identify and change.
Third pair: attachment to a good reputation/ aversion to a bad imageWhat does living conditioned by having a good or bad reputation imply? It basically implies not being free, not being able to act, feel, live and develop according to our desires. Because those who are concerned about what others think or what others may conclude about our appearance, actions or words, completely veto their own personal growth. It is not the right thing to do.
"When you do what you like, with passion, without receiving any retribution, and you lose track of time....
When you do it for the simple fact that you are happy doing it and you are also serving others, that is when you are in Dharma."
-Yogi Bhajan
Fourth pair: attachment to the pleasures of the five senses/aversion to unpleasant experiencesThis pair of the 8 worldly dharmas may cause us some contradiction. What is wrong if we orient our existence to those five senses with which to savor life in all its forms, tastes and sensations? Even more... why not dislike what is unpleasant or uncomfortable?
To understand this, we must put ourselves in the context of Buddhism. In this vision where the frugal, the humble and the just nourish every conduct, there is no room for excesses. In this philosophy the elevated passions, gluttony, desire, need do not harmonize... In balance is moderation and well-being, and it is at that point of not needing anything, where the conscience is freed from the material, where wisdom, compassion and authentic spiritual progress appear.
"Water cannot accumulate on the top of a mountain,
and true merit does not accumulate on the crest of pride."
To conclude, it is quite possible that these 8 worldly dharmas seem to us somewhat complicated to delimit and transform. This is because within our conception it is very difficult for us to give up the fantasy of permanence, to embrace the idea that we are not in absolute control of everything that happens.
However, let's keep the essence of these approaches, let them inspire us to shape a more autonomous life, free of selfishness, hollow pride, empty needs and thoughts that do not allow us to grow as people.
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User:VivianSen

2022-01-25T13:35:48Z

VivianSen: 6 phrases that can change your life

6 phrases that can change your life

п»ї<title>Educating is a beautiful responsibility</title>
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Educating is a responsibility, a discovery and a moral duty that parents acquire when they decide to be parents. A wonderful journey full of mistakes and successes that is worth facing.
As a good parent, you want the best for your children: that they become good men or women, that they do not make the same mistakes as you, that they stand on their own two feet, and so on. But, be careful, if you want the happiness of your little ones you will have to teach them some things personally; that is to say, to take action.
Why personally? Because what we are taught by the people we love is engraved much more deeply in our memory. Whether for better or for worse, the teachings conveyed to a child by the people of reference are going to be the pillars with which he or she is going to start exploring the world.
"The first task of education is to stir up life, but to leave it free to develop."
-Maria Montessori
Think that if you don't do it, others will do it who could care less about your child. We are talking, for example, about television, video games, books... we are talking about any medium through which the child can receive answers to the questions that arise and that you have not given him.
To educate is to provide the right questions
But be careful, educating is more than giving answers. It is to make it easier for the child to ask the right questions at the moments when he is ready to understand the answers. Moreover, to educate is to teach how to find those answers when they are not within reach.
In this education, do not discard any subject. Yes, I am referring to issues that have been taboo in our society until very recently and in some households still are.
For example, sexuality. There are homes in which, when a scene with sexual content appears on television, they change the channel, look the other way or get red in the face. Thus, little by little, they teach the little ones that this kind of things are shameful and should be excluded from communication.
On the other hand, by avoiding the subject, what they do is to awaken the curiosity of the little ones and leave them at the mercy of what they can find; content that is not always good or appropriate for their age.
The importance of providing answersIn the past, what children could find on most of these topics was not much, but now they have Internet-enabled mobiles at an early age. Today they have at their fingertips a world in which truths and lies are intermingled without having internalized any kind of criteria to separate them.
On the other hand, if we do not provide them with the answers they demand, they will stop using us as a source of information. Moreover, when they find the information through other media, of which they are passive consumers, they will not integrate the topics in their communicative capacity so that, when they have a partner and want to talk about sex?
Do you think they will dare, that they will be skilled at doing? No, because he has learned that it is a shameful subject in words and will do what he has learned from Google and his peers.
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It is a challenge to teach children personally when we have full-time jobs or when they are in a complicated stage, such as puberty. When children are young, they are with their parents as much as possible. However, with adolescence this is not the case.
Adolescents step away and start and try to walk through the world as confidently as they have done in their circle of trust. However, they soon realize that outside of where they were, not everything works like where they were.
This attracts and frightens them in almost equal parts. They can go from feeling like giants to dwarfs in an instant. However, if everything goes well, they won't want to go back, and it's a good thing they don't.
The bad thing is that sometimes, in order to defend this independence, they try to cut ties that they will continue to need, although not as much as before or in the same way.
So, the second challenge for parents is to grow up with their children. Do you remember how he started to walk: hesitant, clumsy, with some falls, and what did you do as parents? You let him lean and cling and only intervened when he could suffer a serious injury.
Tips for educating your childrenAs the child grows and begins adolescence, he will continue to fall and will continue to need to feel that you are there. But many times they will prefer to hold on to other places or fall rather than ask for your help because they need to learn.
Unless he can suffer a strong damage, let him, let him get an unfair grade, let him suffer his first disappointment in love, let him discover that a friendship he thought was true is not true, that you are fallible and full of mistakes... Because this is what happens in life, because it is necessary to discover the good things in life.
If you do not allow him a disappointment, you will also deprive him of a possible reconciliation. If you intervene when someone betrays his friendship, you will not allow him to learn to accept an apology. And if you protest to a qualification for him, you will not be letting him know the power he has to turn things around.
It's the easiest thing to do: son, don't do this because it's bad. Go a step further and give him reasons. Don't forbid smoking because by doing so you point to cigarettes as a potential form of rebellion. Explain to him the reasons why smoking does a lot of harm in the same way that any kind of drug does.
Give him arguments he can turn to for counter-arguments when someone denies that smoking is bad. Let it not be your word against a stranger's, but your arguments against his.
Let him understand that you need himLet him help you, let him gradually establish a reciprocal relationship with you. It is important that as he grows up he knows that he has many things to contribute to your life. That you are there to give and that you will give him, but that you also need things from him and they are no less important.
You will probably never reach a symmetrical relationship, but it is good that it is becoming more and more asymmetrical in this sense.
It's his life and his expectations
Help him discover his dreams, what he really wants. Maybe you want something else for him, you had imagined him growing up to be a renowned physicist and he wants to be an actor. Don't try to change him, because you have no right.
Even if you want the best for him, if you go against what he wants to be - what he wants to achieve - you can do him immense harm. Just as it is essential that you nurture their body when they are small, when they start to grow, it is essential that you nurture their dreams.
It doesn't matter if it's a profession that doesn't pay too much or that few end up doing it, your child deserves at least one chance to get it. Who says one says two, three, four, five, as many as he wants as long as he can hold on to the walls or fall and get up without having hurt himself too much.
Don't worry, in this sense you will learn too. When you are by his side to see the happiness he transmits when he does what he wants, you won't have to pretend to be proud because you will be the proudest parent on the planet.
Also, I advise you to always be there when he takes a little step towards his dream because if you don't, I can assure you that when he gets it, you will regret it.
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User talk:VivianSen

2022-01-23T12:09:21Z

VivianSen: 8 guidelines to help you overcome stress

8 guidelines to help you overcome stress
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п»їStress is a natural response of our body that has allowed our ancestors to survive, advance and cope with the various challenges they faced, which for a long time were mainly: to eat and not to be eaten. Our organisms are prepared to face a short-term physical emergency, a passing crisis, after which either we have not been eaten and we have eaten or the opposite, and little else can be done.
Our reality is no longer what it was and most human beings no longer have to worry about not being eaten, although we have changed those stressors for more sophisticated ones. However, our brain does not seem to care if our problems are more complex and difficult to solve at the moment and activates the same physiological responses to an immediate problem as it does to concerns that are neither present nor tangible, but which affect us in the same way and can be prolonged indefinitely in time.
Our organism is prepared to face these physiological changes that any mammal experiences in the face of danger and that allow it to survive, but when these responses are activated repeatedly or are not deactivated in an adequate way, they can become very harmful to our health. It does not mean that chronic and repeated stressors make us sick, but that they increase the risk that we will contract certain diseases (which are the ones that make us sick) or, if we already have one, they increase the risk that our defenses will be overwhelmed by it.
We cannot change this increasingly stressful society, we cannot eliminate traffic jams, nor convince our boss to be more patient, nor avoid the loss of a loved one, nor avoid having to pay the mortgage every month, but we can (and we must if we want to preserve our health) change our attitude towards what causes us stress and anxiety. It is not an easy path, but it is a very beneficial one.
The key is that not everyone is affected in the same way by very similar stressful situations. If we were to do a small study in a traffic jam we would see that not all drivers who are stuck in the same situation react in the same way. There are those who get desperate, tirelessly honk their horns, even though they know it will do no good, and even shout and insult the driver who has had the misfortune of being behind them. However, in that same traffic jam we will also find drivers who, faced with the same situation, and even worse, simply turn up the music, relax and wait for the traffic jam to end. Who do you think will live longer? Who is happier? Who would you like to be?
8 guidelines to overcome stress
1. Don't forget to enjoy life. Sometimes we take our goals so seriously that we lose our way. If by doing all those pending tasks that we have set for ourselves, and that will never end, we miss the good times, what is the point of it all?
Try to live in the here and now, sometimes we worry so much about what is to come that we are not able to enjoy the present. Many times we live tormented by the "what ifs" and in most cases they are situations that will never happen.
3. It is useless to worry about what cannot be changed. Faced with certain unsolvable problems, such as death, it is better to try to modify our attitude. To fight against ghosts takes away energy that we can use to solve more immediate and tangible problems that can greatly improve our lives.
4. Although there are things in our environment that we cannot transform, there are others over which we can exercise some control. It is very useful to learn to organize our time better, establish priorities, make realistic schedules, avoid as much as possible certain situations, and also certain people that cause us stress, know how to say no, delegate responsibilities, etc.
5. Try to think positive: people who see the bottle half full instead of half empty usually suffer less stress. It is necessary to transform our inner dialogue and instead of telling ourselves how bad we are doing everything and how bad things are going to be, try to encourage and support ourselves with encouraging and positive phrases.
6. Strengthen your personal relationships and let yourself be helped. It is important to learn to ask for help. We are social and emotional beings and we need others, just as they need us. Maintaining a strong attitude in all situations can cause us a lot of stress. Sometimes we need to cry on someone else's shoulder, unburden ourselves and lean on the people around us.
7. There are many different relaxation techniques that can help you a lot such as diaphragmatic breathing, yoga, physical exercise, recreational activities...
8. Try to live changes as challenges and challenges, not as threats. You need to be a little more flexible and tolerate novelty better. We live in a world that is constantly changing and we are constantly having to adapt and face new challenges, and although reality is often not as we imagined it, as the great Woody Allen says: "In the end, life is all that happens to us while we were making other plans".

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User:VivianSen

2022-01-20T12:14:50Z

VivianSen: Fears also teach us to be courageous

Fears also teach us to be courageous
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п»їA Chinese proverb says that he who fears to suffer, already suffers fear. Fears are those spaces in our psychological architecture where a large part of who we are converge.
Fear safeguards us from dangers, mediates many of our behaviors and is often the substratum from which we decide to detach ourselves one fine day in order to learn to be brave.
It is no truism to say that no one likes to feel this emotion. Yet, few emotional and psychobiological processes are so decisive. Fear acts as that survival mechanism that has allowed us to advance as a species. It is like a warning system that is activated at every turn, to protect us from something, without discriminating whether that "something" is real or imaginary.
There are rational fears and irrational fears. There are fears originated by traumatic experiences of the past and phobias of which we do not always know the origin.
This emotion, in spite of being natural, necessary and common to any living being, is often a bad traveling companion. It is so because it has the singular faculty of making us see things worse than they are, of blurring and filling our quality of life with darkness.
If life were a journey, we could say that fear will always be our co-pilot. We cannot get rid of it; it is impossible to convince it to get off and lose sight of it forever. The real courage lies in knowing how to handle it and prevent it from taking the wheel, from taking control of our reality.
"Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.
-Winston Churchill
Our only option is to be brave, today, tomorrow and alwaysWould that appeasing our fears were as easy as making a wish or exclaiming aloud a self-affirmation: "from now on I choose to be brave". However, the formula of magical thinking does not work, especially with this type of paralyzing and overwhelming emotion.
Fear also has a great impact on the mind and body, it accelerates the heart, causes the hands to sweat and thoughts run over.
There is also a factor that should not be overlooked. When this emotional reality settles in our lives, our physical and psychological health suffers.
It is common for our fears to intermingle with stress. It is that light mist that accompanies us day after day, filling everything we do with grayness. There is fear of not reaching our goals, fear of disappointing certain people, anxiety about what may or may not happen tomorrow; there is the murmur of uncertainty inflaming worry....
If this state of mind is maintained for weeks, months or years, it often leads to an anxiety disorder. All this also shows us something obvious: we do not need to be in danger to feel fear. We do not need to be in a threatening situation to experience fear.
The most common fear emanates from a mind that constructs its own fears based on the complexity of the surrounding context.
In other words, life is so complicated that it is inevitable not to feel anguish.
We can be courageous despite our fearsCourage is not the absence of fear. Being courageous actually implies allowing ourselves to move forward in spite of our fears, walking alongside them and disempowering them. Something like this requires a firm involvement with ourselves by working on the following aspects:
Challenging irrational or unhelpful thoughts. We cannot forget that fears are basically fed by those limiting, irrational and negative ideas in which the mind repeats things like "I can't handle this" or "everything is going to go wrong".
This type of ideas must be deactivated through confrontation. To do so, there is nothing better than asking ourselves questions. If "I can't do this," shouldn't I try something else that will work? When I say "it's all going to go wrong," on what basis? Do I have evidence that something so catastrophic is really going to happen?
Being courageous is not an optionOne of the most prominent psychologists on personal growth was undoubtedly Abraham Maslow. With his humanistic approach, he gave psychology a more optimistic perspective on the human being. One that reminds us that the ultimate goal of people is to achieve self-realization and wisdom.
In one of his investigations, Maslow established fears and these emotional drives in the first step of his pyramid of human needs. It is something we must face and overcome in order to move forward. Being courageous is not an option, it is an obligation if we want to feel free, fulfilled, ready to help and inspire others.
Courage is practice and perseveranceOne cannot be courageous every day. There are times when one's strength, desire and abilities fail. Even more so when something suddenly comes up for which we were not prepared. However, we must keep in mind that courage is like a muscle, like running a marathon or lifting weights; it must be exercised with practice, perseverance and an adequate mental focus.
Because courageous is not really someone who performs great processes. We do not need to be heroes to wear the mantle of courage. In fact, each of us demonstrates remarkable courage when we manage, for example, to accept our emotions and choose not to give power to fear or catastrophic thinking.
We are courageous when we get up every day in the morning even when we don't feel like it. And we are brave when we choose not to give up in order to continue to nurture hope and illusion. Let's think about it.
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User:VivianSen

2022-01-20T09:23:58Z

VivianSen: Is it true that opposites attract?

Is it true that opposites attract?
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п»їAlthough there is a belief that the best way to form a couple is to choose someone very different from us and that it is even common for this to occur naturally under the well-known phrase "opposites attract", reality does not seem to confirm this theory.
The processes that affect our decisions
The truth is that by a psychological process we tend to choose what is most similar to us. Thus, we are likely to be attracted to someone with physical characteristics similar to those we have, or to a person whose name has some of the letters that form our name.
Why does this happen? Because we unconsciously look for that which is familiar to us because it gives us a feeling of greater comfort. We write our name and date of birth so many times throughout our lives that it is not uncommon for us to make our decisions based on the resemblance to our name or initials. This tendency not only applies in dating but also in all the other choices we make in life: the house and the place where we live, the job, etc.
Think about it: Does the person you are with have letters in their first and last name that match yours? Do your friends have similar experiences to yours? Does the job you are in have to do with your past?
It is proven that we prefer people who match our tastes, our values, who have our habits and maintain similar lifestyles. We tend to choose those who have a similar social and educational level to ours. We are inclined to choose those who share similar experiences and who have a future projection that coincides with ours. We even go further and it is not uncommon to form a couple like our parents.
The need to feel identified
In short, it's as if we want to go out with ourselves. Is it vanity? Is it ego? Not at all. It is simply a matter of wanting to feel identified with the one we choose as our life partner. It is much easier to share goals, carry out plans and raise children with someone who agrees with us in most respects and shares our way of thinking.
Is this preference negative for us? If it turns into narcissism or an excessive taste for showing off and being admired by others, yes, it is. Similarly, if your parents live roles of violence and you emulate them, it will also be a problem and you should look for the opposite to help you have a healthy loving relationship.
The absolute opposite extreme is also a problem if the decision is based on a too low self-esteem that produces insecurity and can lead to anxiety or depression. Everything in its right measure. A balanced and fair self-esteem will lead us down the path of making the best decisions for our life.

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